Thursday, February 7. 2008
Exotic Fruit Farm, Cape Tribulation
Cape Tribulation named by famed explorer and spreader of exotic diseases, Captain Cook. Captain Cook must have been having a really bad day when he bestowed the name Cape Tribulation to this land in the upper right corner of Australia. An area that is best known as the place where the rainforest meets the reef. It is the only place on earth where two world heritage sites run smack into each other. The obvious things to do are to explore the reef and the rainforest, but you need more. What do you do when stunning natural beauty is not enough for you? Try some exotic fruit.
The first thing I noticed about the land cruiser that came to take us to the farm was that it had a snorkel. Cars should not have snorkels. Cars are not boats. In Cape Trib, like many things in Australia, nature and man adapts in odd ways to its surroundings. Getting into the back of the land cruiser you are immediately slapped in the head by the smell. Imagine a musty car that has obviously been submerged combined with the body funk of Digby, owner of the farm.
We bounce over the dirt roads a few miles to the Cape Trib Exotic Fruit Farm and, without hesitation, I can say our lives were forever changed. My traveling partner Ali had lived in Asia for a couple of years so she was quite familiar with the likes of Rambutan and Lychee, but what is this spikey football called Durian? Or that magical fruit that keeps calling to me in my dreams Mamey Sapote?
Ali was looking forward to the exotic fruit tasting more than anything else on our trip. I think the only other thing that got her this excited was when we crashed the National Candy Expo. What can I say, the girl likes the sweets. The tasting did not disappoint. We got to sample about a dozen different fruits. Including things that seemed to stretch the definition of the word fruit. Breadfruit for example is, well, fruit that is at the same time a bread. We sampled some amazing breadfruit chips drizzled with olive oil and rosemary. Every taste and every different fruit was a new experience. Much more exciting than the selection of apples, out of season oranges, green bananas and scary peaches that most of us see at the local grocery story.
Mamey Sapote, my heart longs for you. As far as I am concerned this is the most amazing fruit ever grown. It is a red avocado. Cut it open and instead of being avocado green it is a reddish orange delight. Then you taste it. I love pie and this tastes just like pumpkin pie. Pumpkin pie with a hint of cinnamon. In a fruit. Something that is good for you and it tastes like pie. Praise Vishnu!
Now about the durian. You may have seen this monstrosity on the Travel channel as of late. Durian is the food that their husky bald host, the guy who loves to eat worms out of trees, will not eat. The first thing you notice about Durian is the smell. An overflowing dumpster on a hot August day comes to mind. Then the outside texture. Imagine a spiky, and I mean sharp needle type spikes that are ready to slice your hand open, green football.
This food is screaming DO NOT EAT ME. DANGER. But it is too late. We've paid for this field trip. We want to experience it all. We are open to new things. We are so not prepared for this. Our guide cracks the beast open up and the fetid smell is causing some of the other tourists to pass out. Gripping onto each other for support we manage to survive. Now we reach into the heart of the durian and it feels like brains mixed with custard, like sticking your hand into creamed onions. The texture is straight from a horror movie. Then, I do the single dumbest thing in my life. I've been warned by the smell, the spikes, the gooey texture, the waiting paramedics, the waiver we signed before eating this devil fruit, but I do it anyway. I insert this disease into my mouth. There is no gag reflex for this. My body shuts down. Ali sees me foaming at the mouth and bravely scoops the guts out and hoses out the inside of my mouth. How she managed to swallow the durian is beyond me. The sick part is, now that I have experienced it, now that I know what I am going to face, I am ready to try it again.
The first thing I noticed about the land cruiser that came to take us to the farm was that it had a snorkel. Cars should not have snorkels. Cars are not boats. In Cape Trib, like many things in Australia, nature and man adapts in odd ways to its surroundings. Getting into the back of the land cruiser you are immediately slapped in the head by the smell. Imagine a musty car that has obviously been submerged combined with the body funk of Digby, owner of the farm.
We bounce over the dirt roads a few miles to the Cape Trib Exotic Fruit Farm and, without hesitation, I can say our lives were forever changed. My traveling partner Ali had lived in Asia for a couple of years so she was quite familiar with the likes of Rambutan and Lychee, but what is this spikey football called Durian? Or that magical fruit that keeps calling to me in my dreams Mamey Sapote?
Ali was looking forward to the exotic fruit tasting more than anything else on our trip. I think the only other thing that got her this excited was when we crashed the National Candy Expo. What can I say, the girl likes the sweets. The tasting did not disappoint. We got to sample about a dozen different fruits. Including things that seemed to stretch the definition of the word fruit. Breadfruit for example is, well, fruit that is at the same time a bread. We sampled some amazing breadfruit chips drizzled with olive oil and rosemary. Every taste and every different fruit was a new experience. Much more exciting than the selection of apples, out of season oranges, green bananas and scary peaches that most of us see at the local grocery story.
Mamey Sapote, my heart longs for you. As far as I am concerned this is the most amazing fruit ever grown. It is a red avocado. Cut it open and instead of being avocado green it is a reddish orange delight. Then you taste it. I love pie and this tastes just like pumpkin pie. Pumpkin pie with a hint of cinnamon. In a fruit. Something that is good for you and it tastes like pie. Praise Vishnu!
Now about the durian. You may have seen this monstrosity on the Travel channel as of late. Durian is the food that their husky bald host, the guy who loves to eat worms out of trees, will not eat. The first thing you notice about Durian is the smell. An overflowing dumpster on a hot August day comes to mind. Then the outside texture. Imagine a spiky, and I mean sharp needle type spikes that are ready to slice your hand open, green football.
This food is screaming DO NOT EAT ME. DANGER. But it is too late. We've paid for this field trip. We want to experience it all. We are open to new things. We are so not prepared for this. Our guide cracks the beast open up and the fetid smell is causing some of the other tourists to pass out. Gripping onto each other for support we manage to survive. Now we reach into the heart of the durian and it feels like brains mixed with custard, like sticking your hand into creamed onions. The texture is straight from a horror movie. Then, I do the single dumbest thing in my life. I've been warned by the smell, the spikes, the gooey texture, the waiting paramedics, the waiver we signed before eating this devil fruit, but I do it anyway. I insert this disease into my mouth. There is no gag reflex for this. My body shuts down. Ali sees me foaming at the mouth and bravely scoops the guts out and hoses out the inside of my mouth. How she managed to swallow the durian is beyond me. The sick part is, now that I have experienced it, now that I know what I am going to face, I am ready to try it again.
Tuesday, January 29. 2008
Manilla, you have no time
"The Department of State advises U.S. citizens to consider carefully consider the risk of traveling through Manila's Ninoy Aquino International Airport."
This was the gist of the warning on my travel itinerary in 1999. For two weeks I'd be traveling through Scotland, Japan and the Philippines. This was my first State Department warning so this made me a little on edge. My anxiety was heightened to due to lack of sleep and the overwhelming stench of diesel as our plane descended into Manilla. At 2am I was swimming in my own sweat and the choking fumes of diesel. I could already tell this leg of the trip would be a joy.
Drug smugglers will be executed.
This was not a pleasant sign to see pasted throughout the airport. I wondered did this apply to the over the counter codeine we stocked up on in Tokyo? Thankfully it was not in my luggage so I could slip past that noose. Why is that man making kissy faces at us? Is this just a delusion? Have I entered the heart of darkness? I knew I should not have raided the minibar and stayed up late watching Sumo wrestling in my Tokyo hotel room before departure. Paranoia owns me on little sleep.
Continue reading "Manilla, you have no time" »
This was the gist of the warning on my travel itinerary in 1999. For two weeks I'd be traveling through Scotland, Japan and the Philippines. This was my first State Department warning so this made me a little on edge. My anxiety was heightened to due to lack of sleep and the overwhelming stench of diesel as our plane descended into Manilla. At 2am I was swimming in my own sweat and the choking fumes of diesel. I could already tell this leg of the trip would be a joy.
Drug smugglers will be executed.
This was not a pleasant sign to see pasted throughout the airport. I wondered did this apply to the over the counter codeine we stocked up on in Tokyo? Thankfully it was not in my luggage so I could slip past that noose. Why is that man making kissy faces at us? Is this just a delusion? Have I entered the heart of darkness? I knew I should not have raided the minibar and stayed up late watching Sumo wrestling in my Tokyo hotel room before departure. Paranoia owns me on little sleep.
Continue reading "Manilla, you have no time" »
Saturday, January 26. 2008
Latest Deals
Guam, if you want to
The Washington Post has an interesting article on the Marines moving from Okinawa (the locals have more or less given them the boot) to Guam.
Guam, in case you don't know, is a U.S. colony similar to the District of Columbia. The locals are subject to U.S. law and taxes but don't get to vote. Here is a brief summary of Guam from the second paragraph of the article.
Sounds charming.
Guam, in case you don't know, is a U.S. colony similar to the District of Columbia. The locals are subject to U.S. law and taxes but don't get to vote. Here is a brief summary of Guam from the second paragraph of the article.
"...the island is typhoon-plagued and earthquake-prone, cursed with bad traffic, unable to cope with its own garbage and overrun with invasive tree snakes that have eaten nearly all the birds..."
Sounds charming.
Wednesday, January 23. 2008
may cause wind
Here is a little piece I wrote about a couple of years back. Resurrected for your time wasting pleasure.
Don't pronounce the "r". Don't even see it. It's not really there. Now repeat after me, Caaiiirnnnnnnnnnssssss.
I recently found myself in Cairns with need for a decongestant. Cairns is a crappy little town with a great climate. Think Hilo. A town that just seems to be waiting for the next tsunami to crush it. But, like all crappy tourist towns there is a mall. And inside a mall is a chemist. And the chemist was my goal.
Back over in the U.S. of A you only need to see the pharmacist if you need a prescription. In Australia you need to talk to the chemist if you need tissues. The inside of the chemist shop looks like your standard drug store but all of the over the counter drugs that we grew up with, such as aspirin, are behind the counter and you need to ask for them. As I spy behind the counter looking for some Sudafed, Contact, Dayquil, anything that will ease my pain the chemist makes her move.
"Can I help you?", comes out of her big wide mouth as I spy a Sudafed box.
"Yes, can I get a box of the Sudafed."
"Have you ever taken this before?" Have I ever taken Sudafed before? I grew up putting this stuff on ice cream. I treat them like skittles. Have I ever taken them before? By the pound. As a child I was the sad looking kid staring out the bus window with the glazed face. My nose constantly ran. Without Sudafed and it's brethren my shirt sleeves would have been more of a mess than I can imagine.
"Yes. I have."
"Are you taking anything else with Paracetamol? You cannot take anything else with Paracetamol in it while taking this drug." Parawhatamol? For some odd reason Austraila only recently got Ibuprofen and it is not widely available. Instead Parasomethingamol is the painkiller of choice. Never heard of it, so I must not be taking it.
"Nope," but why the warning? I've never been warned about taking different drugs that contain Acetomenaphin, why should Parasoils worry me? Walking out of the chemist I took the Sudafed out of the bag and started reading the warning section of the package. Standard stuff. If you have high blood pressure, an enlarged prostate, fear of the color red you should consult a physician before taking this product. May cause drowsiness. May cause sleeplessness. Not intended for children below the age of 12 or the IQ of 100. May cause wind.
MAY CAUSE WIND?!?!?! Wind? Finally a drug that can control the weather, but I sure am glad that it did not have fire or flooding as a warning.
Don't pronounce the "r". Don't even see it. It's not really there. Now repeat after me, Caaiiirnnnnnnnnnssssss.
I recently found myself in Cairns with need for a decongestant. Cairns is a crappy little town with a great climate. Think Hilo. A town that just seems to be waiting for the next tsunami to crush it. But, like all crappy tourist towns there is a mall. And inside a mall is a chemist. And the chemist was my goal.
Back over in the U.S. of A you only need to see the pharmacist if you need a prescription. In Australia you need to talk to the chemist if you need tissues. The inside of the chemist shop looks like your standard drug store but all of the over the counter drugs that we grew up with, such as aspirin, are behind the counter and you need to ask for them. As I spy behind the counter looking for some Sudafed, Contact, Dayquil, anything that will ease my pain the chemist makes her move.
"Can I help you?", comes out of her big wide mouth as I spy a Sudafed box.
"Yes, can I get a box of the Sudafed."
"Have you ever taken this before?" Have I ever taken Sudafed before? I grew up putting this stuff on ice cream. I treat them like skittles. Have I ever taken them before? By the pound. As a child I was the sad looking kid staring out the bus window with the glazed face. My nose constantly ran. Without Sudafed and it's brethren my shirt sleeves would have been more of a mess than I can imagine.
"Yes. I have."
"Are you taking anything else with Paracetamol? You cannot take anything else with Paracetamol in it while taking this drug." Parawhatamol? For some odd reason Austraila only recently got Ibuprofen and it is not widely available. Instead Parasomethingamol is the painkiller of choice. Never heard of it, so I must not be taking it.
"Nope," but why the warning? I've never been warned about taking different drugs that contain Acetomenaphin, why should Parasoils worry me? Walking out of the chemist I took the Sudafed out of the bag and started reading the warning section of the package. Standard stuff. If you have high blood pressure, an enlarged prostate, fear of the color red you should consult a physician before taking this product. May cause drowsiness. May cause sleeplessness. Not intended for children below the age of 12 or the IQ of 100. May cause wind.
MAY CAUSE WIND?!?!?! Wind? Finally a drug that can control the weather, but I sure am glad that it did not have fire or flooding as a warning.
(Page 1 of 3, totaling 12 entries)
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